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Below are the 4 most recent journal entries.

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  2005.11.30  13.58

ding dang it. a few things have happened in my life that have made me tryely think. it sounds a little silly, because one is always thinking, even in sleep. anyway, i keep getting these really nasty stomach aches that make me think im about to throw up but then nothing happens and i just feel gross all day.i suppose it could be stress related but the sources of stress in my life, ive come to terms with. its okay with me if justin and i are never together again, it really is. it just makes me wonder how i could have had such strong feelings if they werent for real. like, its a possibility that we never really loved eachother. some days this notion scares the shit out of me but other days/moments it makes complete sense.i realize that itll take a while for me to get my shit together but im so fucking impatient!

3 vogues! [] strike a pose

  2005.11.06  10.59

tihs not knowing thing scares me, it really does. when justin and i talk its like everything is okay and everything will be okay, but now the way he acts when others are around just kills me. i dont know if he he will ever be with m,e. i dont know if i will ever be with him. i cant get over this, i dont know how to get over this. its been twenty eight days since we broke up and i dont know how much longer i can stand it. i know what i want but i dont know much else. this is truely frightening. i just want to know. i know that only time will tell but but but

strike a pose

  2005.11.04  15.08

you work at BCC?
yeah you know me.

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  2005.11.02  21.31

"just friends, for now"

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